5 signs of exam anxiety – and what you can do as a parent

Is your child having trouble sleeping? Easily irritated? Often saying: "I can't figure this out"?

Then 'exam anxiety' — or perhaps more often, the unease of having to perform at a specific time and in a specific way — may be part of the explanation.

Exam anxiety isn't wrong, silly or a sign of weakness. It's a natural reaction when something feels important and uncertain.

Typical signs

• Racing thoughts
• Sleep problems
• Difficulty concentrating
• Stomach aches
• Self-critical thoughts
• Restlessness in the body
• A tendency to put off studying
• Anger / frustration

When the body is under pressure and feels stressed, the brain spends energy scanning for danger. That makes it harder to remember and concentrate.

The good news is that there are simple things that can help.

Three tips for you as a parent

1. Help with structure

Big tasks feel less scary when they're broken down.

Ask:

"What's the next small task on the list today?"

or

"Is there one small thing you can do right now that's also a step forward?"

or

"Would you like my help with anything?"

Splitting tasks into short time blocks is a good place to lend a hand.

2. Prioritise sleep

A tired brain learns poorly.

Sleep isn't a break from learning. Sleep is part of learning. Sleep is a 'superpower' on par with food, water and fresh air.

Support good sleep habits.

3. Remember the body

A walk, a bit of movement or some fresh air can dampen the stress response and create more calm.

Many young people think they should be studying all the time. But breaks often make the brain more effective.

Do something silly together. Dance to loud music. Do star jumps. Stand on your hands. Do something active.

Be the fun, silly example for your young person.

Finally

As a parent, you don't need to be an expert in exams, stress, pressure or anything else.

You don't need to have all the answers.

Often the most helpful thing is simply to be present, to listen, and to remind your young person:

"You are more than your performance."

Because when the exam period is over, it's not the grade that matters most.

It's the experience your young person carries with them: that it's possible to get through something difficult – especially when you fail, but also when you succeed. We all grow from that.

Good luck.

Warm wishes from Helle